عَنْ فَاطِمَةَ بِنْتِ قَيْسٍ رَضِيَ اللّهُ عَنْهَا قَالَتْ: أَتيْتُ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، فَقُلْتُ: إِنَّ أَبَا الْجَهْمِ وَمُعَاوِيَةَ خَطَبَانِي؟ فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللّهِ صَلَّى اللّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «أمَّا مُعَاوِيَةُ فَصُعْلُوكٌ لا مَالَ لَهُ، وأمَّا أَبُو الْجَهْمِ فَلا يَضَعُ الْعَصَا عَنْ عَاتِقِهِ» مُتَّفَقٌ عَلَيْهِ. وَفِي رِوَايَةٍ لِمُسْلِمٍ: «وَأَمَّا أَبُو الْجَهْمِ فَضَرَّابٌ لِلنِّسَاءِ» وَهُوَ تَفْسِيرٌ لِرِوَايَةِ: «لا يَضَعُ الْعَصَا عَنْ عَاتِقِهِ» وَقِيلَ: مَعْنَاهُ: كَثِيرُ الْأَسْفَارِ.
Fatimah bint Qays (may Allah be pleased with her) reported: I came to the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and said: Abu al-Jahm and Mu'awiyah have proposed to me. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "As for Mu'awiyah, he is a pauper with no wealth; and as for Abu al-Jahm, he does not put down his staff from his shoulder." Agreed upon (al-Bukhari and Muslim). In a narration of Muslim: "As for Abu al-Jahm, he is a beater of women." This is an interpretation of the narration "he does not put down his staff from his shoulder." It is also said that its meaning is: he travels much.
الشرح · explanation
صعلوك: أي فقير. عاتقه: ما بين منكبه وعنقه.
"Pauper": that is, poor. "His shoulder": what is between his upper arm and his neck.
الدروس · lessons
جواز التوضيح للخاطب أو المخطوبة وبلا مواربة في ذكر المساوئ، ولا يعتبر ذلك من الغيبة. فضلُ اتِّباعِ أَمْرِ النَّبيِّ صلَّى اللّهُ عليه وسلَّم. الحثُّ على اختيارِ الأكْفَاءِ عندَ الزَّواجِ. التَّنفيرُ من ضَرْبِ النِّساءِ.
The permissibility of clarifying to a suitor or to the one being proposed to, plainly and without evasion, when mentioning faults; and this is not considered backbiting. The virtue of following the command of the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him). Encouragement to choose suitable partners in marriage. Discouragement of beating women.