عَنْ أَنَسٍ رَضِي اللّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ: مَرَّ النَّبِيُّ صَلّى اللّهُ عَلَيْهِ وسَلَّم بِامْرَأَةٍ تَبْكِي عِنْدَ قَبْرٍ فَقَال: «اتَّقِي اللّهَ وَاصْبِرِي» فَقَالَتْ: إِلَيْكَ عَنِّي، فَإِنِّكَ لَمْ تُصَبْ بمُصِيبتي، وَلَمْ تعْرفْهُ، فَقيلَ لَها: إِنَّه النَّبِيُّ صَلّى اللّهُ عَلَيْهِ وسَلَّم، فَأَتتْ بَابَ النَّبيِّ صَلّى اللّهُ عَلَيْهِ وسَلَّم، فلَمْ تَجِدْ عِنْدَهُ بَوَّابينَ، فَقالتْ: لَمْ أَعْرِفْكَ، فقالَ: «إِنَّما الصَّبْرُ عِنْدَ الصَّدْمَةِ الأُولَى» متفقٌ عليه. • وفي رواية لمُسْلمٍ: «تَبْكِي عَلَى صَبيٍّ لَهَا».
On the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: The Prophet (peace be upon him) passed by a woman who was weeping at a grave. He said: "Fear Allah and be patient." She said: "Go away from me, for you have not been afflicted with my calamity" -- and she did not recognize him. She was then told that it was the Prophet (peace be upon him). She came to the door of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and found no doorkeepers at his door. She said: "I did not recognize you." He said: "Indeed, true patience is at the first shock." Agreed upon (narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim). In a narration by Muslim: "She was weeping over a child of hers."
الشرح · explanation
قال لها اتقي اللّه واصبري: الظاهر أنْ كان في بكائها قدرٌ زائدٌ من نُواحٍ وغيره. إليكَ عني: أي تنحَّ عني وابتعدْ.
"He said to her: Fear Allah and be patient": It appears that there was in her weeping an excessive degree of wailing and the like. "Go away from me" (ilayka 'anni): meaning move away from me and leave me alone.
الدروس · lessons
أنّ عدم الصبر ينافي التقوى. الصبر الذي يُحمَد عليه صاحبه هو ما كان عند مفاجأة المصيبة، بخلاف ما بعد ذلك، فإنّ المُصيبة على مَرِّ الأيام تُنسى. تواضُع النبيّ صلّى اللّهُ عليه وسلّم ورفقه بالجاهل. جواز زيارة القبور للنساء.
The lack of patience is contrary to piety (taqwa). The patience that is praiseworthy and for which a person is rewarded is the patience shown at the initial shock of the calamity, as opposed to what comes afterwards, for the affliction fades with the passage of days. The humility of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and his gentleness with the ignorant. The permissibility of women visiting graves.